Taken my heart
by Mystfaery
Summary: Angel's point of view on love BA songfic


Taken my heart  
  
By Mystfaery  
  
Disclaimer: If I bloody well owned them, doncha think I would let them be happy? I think so! I also don't own "She's like the wind."   
  
Summary: Angel's PoV on love   
  
Dedication: Hell-on-earth, thanx a million for typing this up for me and your support in life!  
  
Sometimes I wonder just how many people in this world have actually known love, the real love, the love that sends you to the highest peaks and the lowest point of despair. You can list incredible loves until you're blue in the face, Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra, Buffy and I. How many ended with 'Happily ever after'? Love is like nothing else; a drug that burns through you. I've felt lust more often than I can count but until I met Buffy, I never felt love. Old platitudes I know, older than me which is a rare thing. But for me it's true. A vampire in love with a slayer, a true love we may have, but doomed  
  
She's like the wind through my tree  
  
She rides the night next to me  
  
She leads me through moonlight  
  
Only to burn me with the sun  
  
Nights are special for both of us, I get to see her, my sunlight in a world of darkness, I wonder what I did to deserve her... she's my redemption. Patrolling takes on a new light, it's moments to treasure. I'm surely dumped for the crimes my body - not my soul - committed, I've tortured and killed thousands, innocent and guilty, once there was no difference, there still isn't...To the demon. Yet I think god must be both merciful and have a very short memory, to grant me heaven on earth..  
  
She's taken my heart  
  
But she doesn't know what she's done  
  
The first time I saw her I fell in love, or maybe it was lust but the moment I laid eyes on her, I wanted nothing more than to have her by my side, and to make her wholly mine. Her bizarre mixture of innocence and adult sex appeal enthralled me, she told me once that she wondered if she hadn't been the slayer, would I love her? The answer is yes, how could I know her, that she existed and not love her. I never loved her because she is the slayer, I have no death wish - but rather in spite of it I love her and adore her because of who she is, and the slayer is a part of who she is, she could no sooner stop being the slayer than betray her friends. The holiness of the chosen one scared me at first, then I truly met her and not just saw her, she played with words and fought to be allowed to be herself and not just the slayer. To be remembered as more than statistics and I loved her all the more for that.  
  
Feel her breath on my face  
  
Her body close to me  
  
Can't look in her eyes  
  
She's out of my league  
  
Just a fool to believe  
  
I have anything she needs  
  
She's like the wind  
  
Have you ever seen something you wanted more than anything else in the world, and realized it couldn't be yours? I felt like that when I saw her slay her first vampire, it drove home to me the fact that I was a vampire, - a souled one - but still a vampire --and she was the slayer destined to rid the world of my kind. Buffy looked past that into my soul - it makes sense since it's the other half of hers - and gave me life. Dancing with her at the bronze was... indescribable. I'm not the world's best dancer, but I picked it up over the years, feeling her move with me, its closer to heaven than I ever thought I would get. I'm doomed to live forever, stay young while she grows old - if she gets to grow old - can you imagine how much that knowledge hurts?   
  
I look in the mirror   
  
and all I see is a young, older man with only a dream.  
  
Am I fooling myself  
  
That she'll stop the pain  
  
Living without her  
  
I`d go insane  
  
  
  
My slayer has become my rock, my reason for existing, for a long time I toyed with the idea of death - not just vampirism - but final death. I wonder why a creature so damned was allowed to exist. Every time I save her, help her or have her show she cares for me I know why I exist... for her. In the slayers short life span most of them suffer hardships and die alone. I`ll do anything to lengthen her life. - Even by only a day - including die again, because without her I am nothing. A famous man - I can not remember who - said "until I loved, I did not know I lived." She's given me back my life, she's given my happiness, she's given me more than I can ever say. And I'm giving her, her freedom. Freedom from me, the darkness inside me and the freedom to have a relatively normal college life or so I say. She does deserve to be free, but this move came of me needing to feel worthy. I'm putting another age old saying to the test "if you love something, set I free, if it comes back its yours forever." I can only pray, I get her back  
  
Angel  
  
Feel her breath on my face  
  
Her body close to me  
  
Can't look in her eyes  
  
She's out of my league  
  
Just a fool to believe  
  
I have anything she needs  
  
She's like the wind  
  
END 


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